Matter of Values!
Lately, my two year old daughter has by-hearted this phrase
“Daddy what’s the matter?” The other day we promised to take her to beach if
she sits in the car seat and be a good girl. She pretty much was in
anticipation of her reward until we drove home without taking her to the beach.
First words she exclaimed watching me reverse back into garage, “Daddy what’s
the matter with beach?” I gave her some gibberish reason and she cutely
accepted.
Later on, I thought I shouldn’t be doing this to a two year
old, for two reasons. First, “Integrity” being one of my core values if I
exhibit this behaviour to my kids, it would register in their subconscious
brain and would later on become part of their personality. Second, Aanya &
I both love the beach so not to miss out on great opportunity to escape from
the grind.
Our value system is reflection of our personality because it
feeds off directly from the experiences our brain had registered in past. For
example, if “love & connection” is one of my values then I’m bound to have
certain rules around looks, dress up, appearance and what I portray to the
outside world. People with such values would want people to admire them when
they look good and they do the same to others. It is part of the basic instinct
“dress to impress” and becomes their second nature and a rule ensuring they
wear their attitude.
Now if someone stops them from dressing up nicely or objects
to their appearance they feel attacked and would react either passively or
aggressively. In my personal experience best way to stop such retaliation is to
be authentic to them and vice versa. Irrespective of colour, race or sex value
does matter because it is deep ingrained in our neural pathways based on
personal experiences we have since childhood. They are your rulebook to decide
what’s right or wrong when faced by situational or emotional dilemma.
So when in doubt speak to your values…
“It is not hard to make a decision when you know what your
values are” – Roy Disney
